It is no secret that Kenny was opposed to my decision to have WLS. He thought that I would lose weight on my own if I tried hard enough... and consequently, not trying hard enough was the reason I was fat. Fast forward to now. I have one of the most supportive husbands around. He goes on and on about how great I look and how my decision to have surgery was the right one. Not only that, he sees that it has completely changed our lives. I am active, and we can have so many experiences that were off limits to us only a year ago. He is also proud of me. Kenny is a man who is very particular and very critical. It takes a lot for him to be proud of me or impressed by my accomplishments. With my WLS, he is completely proud of what I have done. He is also proud of me, as his wife, when our friends are stunned by my transformation. We did lunch with a friend today, and our friend didn't recognize me in the beginning (I was at the table alone). He walked over with his jaw on the ground. At a cocktail party this past weekend, Kenny's colleague and his wife couldn't get over what I have done.
As for whether he thinks I could have lost all of this weight without the band, we haven't specifically discussed it. I am pretty sure that he now appreciates how instrumental the band has been and that it is a fantastic tool. He gets that I was not just a pig- I was HUNGRY. He gets that being healthy was almost impossible when I always felt like I was starving (and that working out was so difficult to struggle through when I knew I couldn't possibly burn off the calories that I was consuming). Most importantly, he fully understands that the band wouldn't have helped me at all if I hadn't been willing to make the lifestyle changes necessary to work with this little contraption. I feel that this is the thing that has made him happiest. I eat well and work out regularly. I am not flying back to the doctor every few weeks for fills, I am not relying on an overly tight band to control my hunger, and I am not sitting on the couch while complaining that I still need to lose weight. I have completely changed my life! Oh, and I can still eat 'regularly' when we go out to dinner. I might leave a decent amount of food on my plate, but nobody cares about what is or is not on my plate as much as I do:)
8 comments:
Nora, this is AWESOME, a real transformation on both your parts actually. It gives me hope, too, because my lifelong skinny spouse isn't there yet in terms of understanding. It can be frustrating and upsetting when we're confronted with that "just try harder" attitude/judgement from the people closest to us. Maybe only other heavy/formerly heavy people can truly understand fully? I like your point about having been HUNGRY. I think research is already starting to suggest that some of us have "busted" mechanisms for that crucial "you're full, stop eating" message. Anyway, very happy for you and Kenny. This turned into a real couple victory!
Amen for supportive husbands and our proactive new lifestyles!
A support system is great to have. My system has already started the support 11 days till surgery!
Nora, thanks so much for answering my question.
I'm so glad Kenny is proud of you and realizes that you used the band as the tool as it was intended and that YOU did, and are doing, all the hard work.
I'm gonna copy this for my husband to read. I look forward to proving him wrong. Too bad for him, though, that he won't get to reap the rewards of my eventual success.
XOXO
having a supportive husband i think is def key to band success - so happy for you that you have that with your man!
Sounds like you hubby has seen the errors of his way and realized you have made the right decision for you :o)
"I eat well and work out regularly. I am not flying back to the doctor every few weeks for fills, I am not relying on an overly tight band to control my hunger, and I am not sitting on the couch while complaining that I still need to lose weight. I have completely changed my life!"
This is what it's ALL about!
Yes, YOU have completely changed your life. Great that you have a supportive H but it's YOU that have done all of the hard work. Your story really is so inspirational ! :)
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