I Feel Much Better Now. I Really Do.

Ladies, I can't thank you enough for all of your comments yesterday.  I agree with everything you wrote.  Basil is a little gnat, and I can easily ignore him.  As for the clothes, I am usually very good about giving away my old clothing and only wearing pieces that fit well and are flattering.  Like many of you, my wardrobe is pretty lean at the moment.  I bought transition clothing in April, but most of what I purchased is gigantic at this point.  I am bringing almost everything that fits to Mallorca on Friday.  Because 1 hour dry cleaning does not exist here (I am lucky to get my clothes back in 2 business days), and I have to hang dry everything that I wash at home, I am relegated to the part of the closet I typically avoid.  These are my emergency rations- not pretty or luxurious, but they get the job done in dire situations.  My cute new jeans are finally dry, so I will look a bit more human today.  

 

I do think yesterday was some sort of cosmic reminder that I cannot get complacent with thise whole weight loss process.  I find that to be a positive.  Falling off the wagon at this point would be a failure in my eyes, and I am not going to let that happen.  So being aware of where I am in the process without being angered or annoyed by it can only help me to stay motivated!  

 

I am now ready for my herb-free gym session!

Reality Check

Today has really brought me back to reality.  I am more aware of how much more weight I have yet to lose.  First, I had the gym situation- I am still the biggest woman there and some of the trainers seem to think I am an easy target for unloading ridiculous training sessions.  Then I went to a golf lesson this afternoon.  This is my first ever lesson at this school and my first lesson years.  The instructor asked me to warm up by hitting a few balls and left the room while I did so.  He had a camera running to film my swing from behind.  After a few minutes he came back and asked me to watch the video with him.  Yikes- I cringed. I looked gigantic- like I was 5'3" and over 300lbs!  I looked at least as big as I did before surgery.  It didn't help that I was wearing a shirt that I have worn since my heaviest weight and that the pants (from my Italy trip) are pretty baggy as well.  I know that I am significantly smaller than I was pre-surgery, but oh boy.  I am still miles away from where I need to be.  This really threw me for a loop.

Fat Girl Walking

I've been very happy with my appearance recently.  My weight loss has slowed, but I am still getting smaller.  I accept that as I lose weight, I will lose at a slower pace. 
 
The gym is the place that keeps me grounded.  I remember how far I have come (I could have never worked out the way I do now were I still 324.6 lbs) and acknowledge how much further I have to go on this journey (let's get real ladies, I am still bigger than many of you were pre-surgery).  I also deal with the reality that while I am starting to see a woman who is regaining the shape of a woman, a woman who no longer has a second chin and who is getting her life and health back, others still see me as someone who is F.A.T.- fat.  This is especially true with the trainers.  While some of them are really cool, others come close to chanting "Fat Girl Walking" with dollar signs in their eyes when they see me. 

    
Basil, a trainer I have never spoken with before (and yes, I am quite familiar with his family members, Tomato and Mozzarella), approached me during today's kettle bell routine.  I don't know what it is with these damn bells, but trainers always feel the need to speak with me as I am squatting and swinging these things.  I can do upper body workouts for days at a time without anyone speaking with me, but the moment I grab hold of the bells, out come the trainers.  And out came Basil.  He was able to show me a couple tweaks to my routine, but overall he was way too pushy for me.  He immediately tried to get me to sign up for a six day a week, 90-day workout routine lead by him, of course.  He plans to get 3-4 women together to do this with him.  Let's just say that I won't be one of the women.  My excuse was that I travel too much to commit to anything that lasts for three months, and this is 100% true.  Seriously though, dealing with one trainer that much just sounds like hell.  I like my alone time at the gym and could not face six days a week of noise and other people invading my time.  It also seems like a bit of overkill.  Weekly training will help me, but this would just be way too much.  He also mentioned the Warrior Diet to me, where you eat only one meal a day in the evening.  He said that he lost 2kg (4.4lbs) in two weeks doing it.  I almost laughed out loud- it sounds like misery and is something else I won't be trying. 
      

  
I might still be Fat Girl Walking, but I will not be an easy target for this guy.     

A Weekend Of Favorites

Kenny and I had a surprisingly lovely weekend in London.  Usually we have to go out of town to spend much time together, but this weekend worked out differently for us.  Kenny golfed very early on Saturday- his colleague picked him up at 6:15 in the morning- so he was back in time for lunch.  Unfortunately, he returned without the new golf GPS I bought him for his birthday.  He golfed in Ealing, which is one of the places that had serious riots last week and is (surprise, surprise) not the nicest part of town.  He left his clubs outside of the clubhouse to grab a soda inside (not smart, I know), and some hoodlum stole the GPS off of his bag.  He is lucky he didn't lose his entire golf bag, but he was still annoyed and upset.  While Kenny was getting his golf on, I decided to go to the gym.  I typically refuse to hit the gym on weekends.  It is very busy, and I think 5 consecutive days of working out is enough.  But I couldn't bring myself to just sit on the couch for 2 hours, so off I went for an hour of cardio.  We were able to spend the rest of the day together.  We went out to lunch, walked around town and made a quick visit to my favorite shoe shop!     
On Sunday we visited H-a-r-w-o-o-d-A-r-m-s.  It is the first gastropub to receive a Michelin star and happens to be one of our favorite restaurants.  The only downside is that we have to book a month in advance, and it is hard to plan that far in advance.  We each started with a venison scotch egg, which this restaurant is known for.  It is pretty much a soft boiled egg, encased in venison sausage, breaded and fried.  It sounds disgusting, but these things are to die for!  So I ate half of mine and gave Kenny the other half.  The rest of the meal was fantastic, but the scotch egg is the masterpiece of this restaurant.  Given how slowly I now eat, our main meals came way too fast.  I know the kitchen was not rushing us and timed the courses as it typically does, but it still stunk to only be half way through my starter when my main showed up.  Kenny and I have decided that we need to ask the kitchen to hold our mains from now on to give me enough time to eat and relax.  Live and learn.

Look At My Pretty New Blog

I'd like to thank Jen and her Just Foolin Blog Designs for creating my fantastic new blog!  Look around, and enjoy.
  
Because I am aTraveling Bandita, I've tried to make this version more travel related.  Several of you have mentioned that you will be visiting one or more of the destinations I have blogged about, so I asked Jen to add a Tripadvisor button.  This links to my profile, where I review many of the hotels and restaurants Kenny and I have enjoyed, or have been less than pleased with, during our travels.  Once in my profile, click on Contributions to view my write ups. 

Eek!

I am going to need to modify my breakfast routine slightly.  The first time I worked out intensely last month, I came home and felt a little woozy.  I put a bit of honey on my finger, sucked away and felt oh so much better.  I clearly wasn't getting enough carbs for a hard workout, so I added raspberries and a bit of honey to my morning yogurt.  Today I had my newly improved yogurt and a kiwi before hitting the gym.  I spoke with the front desk about purchasing a training pack and then had a fantastic workout.  I increased the reps for my squat and kettle bell routine significantly and was really pleased that I did this and still completed 60 minutes on the vario. 

     

Anyway, I made it home and spent a few minutes on the computer before hopping into the shower.  Then everything went downhill.  That woozy feeling came back and was SO much worse than the first time it happened.  I felt that I was going to hurl or pass out, and I wasn't really sure which would be worse.  I wound up getting the suds off of me quickly, wrapping up in a towel and running into the kitchen (dripping wet) to once again have a moment with my trusty bottle of honey.  A few squeezes later and I was all set to attempt my shower again.

    

Clearly, I need to change my breakfast game plan.  Like many bandsters, I don't have much interest in breakfast.  I eat it out of necessity and really don't think I could get down much more than yogurt and a kiwi or two.  I was convinced that the raspberry, honey and kiwi would give me enough oomph to get me through.  Does anyone have suggestions to get more energy into my breakfast?  I am considering adding a bit more honey and maybe one more kiwi but am up for other options.

DAMN, GIRL'S LOOKIN' GOOD!!!

Kenny and I went out to dinner with our friend, C, last night.  Kenny and C know each other professionally, and we became friendly with the family earlier this year.  During our Italy trip (middle of April-beginning of May) we spent three nights in Positano.  C and his family were in Capri and invited us to their hotel for lunch.  We ferried over and had a really enjoyable afternoon with his wife and girls.  Since then he and the family joined us at our 4th of July BBQ.  Now C's wife and daughters are in Nantucket for the summer, so he is flying solo until he meets up with them next week.  

    

Not surprisingly, the three of us had a great evening together!  We had some good laughs and could have stayed out all night had the guys not had work this morning.  Towards the end of the night (and the end of our third bottle of wine), C remarked on how good I am looking.  The words 'damn, girl's lookin good' came out of his mouth!  He said that when he walked up to us he was like, wow, etc. etc.  Then he turned to Kenny and asked if he has noticed this.  Kenny of course said yes, yes he had.  C looked at him and said, no, really- Have. You. Noticed?  I was SO flattered.  C has only known me since the spring.  I have only lost 25 lbs or so in the last few months.  But he noticed and was willing to be so much more complimentary than friends who knew me when I was about 325 lbs!  It was also the first time I have ever had a MARRIED male friend comment on how good I am looking- not only to me but to my HUSBAND!  I was floating on Cloud Nine by the time we left the restaurant. 

     

C's comment also had an effect on Kenny.  We got home- and how do I put this, considering that my mother reads this blog (hi mom)- Kenny was much more interested in me than he typically is after a long day of work.  I think he had a bit of an 'oh sh*t' moment, acknowledging that men might actually start noticing HIS wife again.  Let's see how long this lasts for!