Being In The Teens

Hitting my 100lb goal was amazing, but getting out of the 220s is possibly even more exciting.  Being in my teens, albeit the high teens, means that Onederland is getting close!  I am thrilled about moving towards this next threshold. 

    

I had forgotten to mention two things about our tasty dinner out with the new Londoners in my earlier post, so I will do so now.  This dinner was the first time I wore all misses clothing out (apart from when I wear jeans, which barely counts).  I wore a large Ellen Tracy cashmere tank top with an extra large matching cardigan and a size 16 Ann Taylor skirt.  I accept that Ann Taylor is cut big and an AT 16 is gigantic compared to a designer 16, but I don't care.  This time last year I wore a 22W from Talbots after all:)  I remember when I started buying all of my size 14-16 clothes during law school.  With the help of Adipex and a wicked gym routine, I had lost a lot of weight.  After years of fat clothing, I was very excited to be able to fit into the clothing that everyone was wearing and I went shopping crazy.  I had a saleswoman in the Ellen Tracy department of Bloomingdale's, and I am convinced she was able to retire due to the amount of clothing I bought.  I bought more items than would have been reasonable for a first year associate, and I was in my first year of law school.  I just couldn't help myself.  I felt so liberated and so... alive!!!  I felt normal.  Yeah, I might have been limited to the larger sizes of these stores, but I was easily shopping in stores that had been off limits to me just a year before.  That is how I feel now.  I am doing most of my current shopping in my closet at mom's rather than buying garments that will only last me a few months, but I am starting to remember how good it feels to wear these smaller sizes again. 

    

Secondly, meeting new people is so much more comfortable for me now.  I have always been social and never suffered from the fat girl shyness that seems to be so common in heavier women.  At the same time, I was always concerned about how people would view me during these dinners.  How would they react to my eating an extra piece of bread because I was hungry?  Would they look down on me for clearing my plate?  Would they notice that I was always sweating due to my extra insulation (sounds nicer than fat, doesn't it)?  Most importantly, what would the couple say when they left the restaurant?  I am pretty sure the comment was frequently something like, she is nice, but isn't it sad that she is so big.  Now I am much less worried about how people view me.  Yeah, I am big, but I don't stand out in a crowd anymore.  Isn't it nice!