November 26, 2010-present weight loss

2012 weight loss

Monday, October 31, 2011

Being In The Teens

Hitting my 100lb goal was amazing, but getting out of the 220s is possibly even more exciting.  Being in my teens, albeit the high teens, means that Onederland is getting close!  I am thrilled about moving towards this next threshold. 
I had forgotten to mention two things about our tasty dinner out with the new Londoners in my earlier post, so I will do so now.  This dinner was the first time I wore all misses clothing out (apart from when I wear jeans, which barely counts).  I wore a large Ellen Tracy cashmere tank top with an extra large matching cardigan and a size 16 Ann Taylor skirt.  I accept that Ann Taylor is cut big and an AT 16 is gigantic compared to a designer 16, but I don't care.  This time last year I wore a 22W from Talbots after all:)  I remember when I started buying all of my size 14-16 clothes during law school.  With the help of Adipex and a wicked gym routine, I had lost a lot of weight.  After years of fat clothing, I was very excited to be able to fit into the clothing that everyone was wearing and I went shopping crazy.  I had a saleswoman in the Ellen Tracy department of Bloomingdale's, and I am convinced she was able to retire due to the amount of clothing I bought.  I bought more items than would have been reasonable for a first year associate, and I was in my first year of law school.  I just couldn't help myself.  I felt so liberated and so... alive!!!  I felt normal.  Yeah, I might have been limited to the larger sizes of these stores, but I was easily shopping in stores that had been off limits to me just a year before.  That is how I feel now.  I am doing most of my current shopping in my closet at mom's rather than buying garments that will only last me a few months, but I am starting to remember how good it feels to wear these smaller sizes again. 
Secondly, meeting new people is so much more comfortable for me now.  I have always been social and never suffered from the fat girl shyness that seems to be so common in heavier women.  At the same time, I was always concerned about how people would view me during these dinners.  How would they react to my eating an extra piece of bread because I was hungry?  Would they look down on me for clearing my plate?  Would they notice that I was always sweating due to my extra insulation (sounds nicer than fat, doesn't it)?  Most importantly, what would the couple say when they left the restaurant?  I am pretty sure the comment was frequently something like, she is nice, but isn't it sad that she is so big.  Now I am much less worried about how people view me.  Yeah, I am big, but I don't stand out in a crowd anymore.  Isn't it nice! 


Melissa Wolf said...

You sound WONDERFUL, Nora! I can relate to what you're saying--glad you never let fear of judgement stop you in the past, but it sure feels good to only stand out for your wit and beauty, not your size. You're my role model, lady, so keep it up! p.s. We're going to be roughly at the same weight in a few pounds and hope we can (post my being banded 12/16!!) lose together!

Amanda said...

Shopping is so much more fun now isn't it!??
I still struggle with feeling like the biggest girl in the room. I am not any more but I still feel it! I hope it goes away!

I wore a tank top over the weekend (while painting my sisters kitchen) that was a size small. Granted it was an old stretched out tank top but I don't said a size small and it was my sisters who yoyo's between a 2-6 (bitch).

vickyd said...

I know what you mean! Now that I'm not in the "women's" sizes, it is so nice to know that I can walk into whatever store I want and be able to find something in my great, but hell on the budget :)

MandaPanda said...

Great NSVs!! I suffer from the fat girl shyness but I've ALWAYS been shy...even as a little kid so I don't think it's actually caused by the fat. LOL. I do find my confidence growing as I shrink though.

banded bella said...

I had tears in my eyes today when I tried on a 14 in LB. OMG this is not something I am use to and I love it.

Andrea said...

Yay for being in the 2 teens, wearing misses clothes and not worrying how about what other people think! Love this!

Cece said...

When I opened your post the loss of 106 lbs jumped out at me - glad you're enjoying all of the perks of your progress !